Child Visitation

Pasadena Visitation Mediator – (888) 844-9530

If you are separating or divorcing and have minor children together, you are probably concerned about the welfare of your children and maintaining as stable of an environment as possible while your family goes through this transition. In California, a "custody and visitation agreement" is referred to as a "parenting plan." The parenting plan is the parents' written agreement about timeshare schedules (the schedule for when the child will be with each parent), and the decision-making process. Decision-making refers to how the parents will determine their children's education, medical care, participation in extracurricular activities, and general welfare.

A parenting plan can be more or less comprehensive, depending upon how well the parents work together and their particular needs. A more comprehensive written plan will help to prevent future conflicts over parents' respective timeshare schedule and decision-making. Once parents have signed off on a parenting plan, it is typically submitted to the court and becomes a court order. History has shown that when both parents play an active role in their children's lives and resolve or otherwise manage their conflict constructively rather than engaging in chronic and/or toxic parental conflict, the children are usually much happier, as are the parents. Change is hard on everyone, especially children, so it's important to encourage a workable parenting plan that fosters a healthy relationship between each parent and their children, providing neither parent is unfit. Mediation allows parents to solve problems and reach agreements, unlike custody battles, which tend to exacerbate parental conflict.

Terminology

As explained in Mark Baer’s article The Power of Words, the terms custody and visitation are “fighting words.”

No parent wants to be relegated such that they merely have “visitation” or “access” to their children. After all, unless you win the prize of custody, the terminology itself causes a parent to experience shame. This therefore frequently results in a "win at all costs" mentality.

In an effort to change the “win/lose” dynamic and hopefully put an end to the parental fighting caused by emotionally charged terms, many jurisdictions have eliminated them entirely. They have been replaced with more neutral and conciliatory terms such as “parenting plan,” “time-sharing,” “parental responsibility,” “parenting arrangements,” “parenting time,” “residential time,” and “contact.” These changes have occurred in England, Wales, Australia, and in many states in the U.S. However, for complex political reasons, California has not followed suit. As such and considering that people’s internet searches involve the use of such “fighting terms,” my website itself does contain them.

Do you think that a larger timeshare “victory” has the same cachet as taking home the custody prize? Does the parent with less of a timeshare feel shamed as a parent? Words are powerful.... Think about it.

Basics of Creating a Parenting Plan

In California, either parent can have custody of the children, or the parents can share the responsibility. Unless the parents enter into a parenting plan on their own, the judge makes the final decision regarding custody and visitation. Nobody knows your situation and your children's personalities and needs better than their parents; therefore, it is generally recommended for parents to reach child custody and visitation arrangements (parenting plan) on their own. In fact, the judge won't normally decide such things until after the parents have tried to reach their own agreement through mediation or similar processes.

Under California law, there are two types of custody: legal custody and physical custody. Legal custody refers to who makes the important decisions regarding the child's welfare such as health care and education, whereas physical custody refers to the timeshare schedule. Both legal and physical custody can be sole or joint. Joint physical custody means that both parents have significant periods of custodial time. Sole or primary custody means the child lives exclusively or primarily with one parent and the other parent has visitation time.

Joint physical custody does not necessarily mean the child spends an equal amount of time with both parents. However, unless the child spends a significant period of time with both parents, one parent is bestowed the title of primary custodial parent. Often, parents agree upon joint legal custody and not joint physical custody. This means both parents share equally in the responsibility in making important decisions about the child's life, and the child resides with one of the parents more of the time. In this case, the parent with less of a timeshare has visitation with their child.